Spring time

I'm so excited that it's spring. The sensations of spring are just so...well, SENSATIONAL to me seeing as I missed out of spring completely last year, so I haven't experienced spring in 2 years. And it's really slow in coming this year, too! It keeps getting cold over and over again, but now it finally seems like spring is here to stay. At first I was so super excited and I'd keep getting disappointed every time it got cold or snowed again, even though I'm used to that happening every spring--this IS Montreal, after all!--of course, this spring means something different to me. But this past week the nice weather has been making me feel anxious and I think I've figured out why. I'm worried about the cancer coming back (as always), and I don't want this wonderful weather to be taken away from me. I'm so excited to finally experience it, and I can't wait for summer so I can finally experience THAT instead of spending half of it in the hospital and half of it being neutropenic--and that makes me more anxious about getting sick again, like...no no, don't let it come back and take all this awesomeness away from me, ya know?