I think one of the main emotions that has stewed during my remission is anger. Not so much anger at the cancer itself, but the almost constant anxiety and frequent fear I've been experiencing during remission tends to settle into a kind of demented stress that elevates into the most intense rage I can't describe. I have noticed that anger is easier to deal with than fear, so I can't help but wonder if my brain turns the fear into anger for at least partly this reason.
That being said, I'm fed up of people telling me how I should feel. That anger isn't good for me or that I should be positive. Do you have cancer? No? THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP. I mean that sincerely. So I guess this post is a note to all of those people who have told me that I shouldn't be so angry all the time. To those who talk about choosing to be happy and not dwelling on fear or dark thoughts, as if that's something I've chosen to do. I can't choose to be less angry, less scared, or less stressed, but you can certainly choose to mind your own fucking business and be more tactful.
That is all.
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