Love & Distance

Me & Mike have been together for 10 years, we don't need to spend every second together. On weekday nights, we often do our own thing in separate rooms. But when he's not here, IT'S SO DIFFERENT. It doesn't matter if I'm alone in the bedroom for 3 hours with my music & the door closed; I *know* he's just over there in the living room. But when he's away on contract, bleeehhhh! I have SO much lesson-planning to do, you'd think less distraction is better, but...NOPE. I just feel lonely. :(

Hope-iclone XD

Dealing with my own cancer and forever worrying about how far I'll make it...now dealing with my mom's cancer too...all the "fuck cancer" shout-outs in the world wouldn't be enough.

Yummy sleeping pills make things temporarily better. (All hail Queen Zopiclone!) I plan on taking them forever. Why not? Why choose a life of not being able to sleep? A life of stress all day, and then stress all night too? And then, the lack of sleeping causes even more stress. So, a stressful circle of stress. Why would you willingly do that to yourself when you can just take sleeping pills and be done with all that harmful nonsense? (Plus they give you such a nice buzz that lets you forget your problems for awhile!) The addiction that comes with it sucks, and I imagine if I ever have to stop these meds I'd be fucked, but for now? I'll get close & cozy with these drugs for as long as I can, because why the hell choose the other option?

Zopiclone; it doesn't cure cancer, and some studies say it may even cause cancer. But oh. I can't help but appoint it as my temporary or indefinite personal saviour.