Fuck AI

I'm so angry about all this popularized AI bullshit going around--especially exacerbated by the horrendously cringeworthy and harmful Ghibli theft machine--that I felt the need to update my blog after so many months! 

Yesterday I read a fantastically worded-Twitter post that said, regarding the obsessive use of AI to make “art” by stealing works of others, that people who do this don’t love making things. They love HAVING things. And oh shit, let me tell you---I was floored by how spot-on that is. They really hit the nail on the head with that one….the more I think about it, the more sense it makes, and the more it explains people’s behaviour. 


It’s scary these people call themselves “artists”, considering art is the last thing they’re going for. After all, what is the number one most important ingredient in art? What aspect of art matters most of all? 

It’s not skill, nor talent, nor knowledge. 


The answer is SOUL. 

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ART IS SOUL. 



AI does not have a soul. 
Therefore, AI cannot create art. 

I mean, at least be honest with everyone (including yourself!) and call it what it is—STOLEN art.

Moreover, the fact you'd even consider stealing bits of someone's soul that they poured out into the world, and repurpose it into trash for your starved talentless, grubby hands is an ugly reminder that we've hit peak dystopia. Or, perhaps, we hit peak dystopia long ago, but you types are certainly prolonging it. 



Learn to make your own art, you lazy little thieving fucks. 

Wicked Ranma

 I had to unpublish my last post because it wouldn't format itself properly. Weird. 

Anyway, just came here to say I'm loving the Ranma remake! It's soooo good. I didn't think it would be, but it totally is. There's so many things I love about it. Except the opening theme, which I actually hate. hahahaah. 

Also, the new Wicked movie looks absolutely terrible, and yet, I can't wait to see it. 

Mike Parsons is a murderer

Tonight the state of Missouri decided to murder an innocent Black man simply because they felt like it. 

Rest in Power, Marcellus Williams. 

happy? lonely?

I'm trying to be more social and meet people, but I'm definitely not trying hard enough. My world feels empty and lonely lately. I hate how lonely and lazy I've become. I hate how tired I am. And most of all, I hate being around other people. Ultimate irony! Ya gotta find the humour in it, eh?

2020 really changed everything. I've never truly understood "loneliness" until 2020 happened. I'd been lonely before, but never really, truly felt & thoroughly understood what loneliness genuinely felt like. It's so dark, so deep, and so SPECIFIC. At the same time, I've had a lot of VERY wonderful things happen to me over the past few years, and that's an understatement. I'm so luck, grateful, and thankful for a lot of things right now. It makes the contrast between loneliness and joy feel that much stranger, though. Huh. What discord!

....but I guess that's a strange thing to say. I mean, joy and gratitude for things going amazingly in one's life, and feeling despair from the crushing weight of unwanted solitude are NOT mutually exclusive by any means. But it still feels so absurd to experience both simultaneously.

I keep telling myself how important it is to work on any aspects of my life that I'm not happy with as timely and as strongly as I can. And I am, but at a snail's pace. Anything more is just so exhausting. Or is it? Am I just being lazy and complacent? I am a lot of things, but I'm not complacent, am I? There's no way. That's one thing I can never be. (I think!)

All I know is, I'm not doing enough. "All movement forward is progress, no matter how slow." <--This is very true, but, sometimes I found myself in situations in which slow progress just won't cut it. I only speak for myself--everyone has their own speed, their own pace, and their own situations, and their own limitations and goals--but right now, I'm in one of those positions in which I need to put in the effort to try harder. It's good to be comfortable, but then nothing changes.  

Makenai! Ashita e Sailor Yell!

I've been rewatching Sailor Moon lately and I'm back at Stars (the final season, if you didn't know); once it's done, I'll be free to watch the remake/reboot/whatever from 2014. My best friend and I tried watching it when it first aired--iirc, we watched the first 4 episodes, and the animation horrified us, and it was weird, and we just couldn't get into it. Fast forward to a decade later and it's a huge hit and everyone talks about it (some modern day Sailor Moon fans have only seen the reboot, not even the original!), so to say all this talk has gotten my attention is kind of an understatement. I'm totally intrigued (and I notice the animation got fixed bigtime after season 1), so I'm gonna go into the newer series excited as hellll. Just once Stars is done. It's taking me forever, though, because I'm watching so many different anime series (and Western TV series! And K-dramas! And J-dramas!) at the same time, hahahah! 

OH hey, let's talk about Sertraline

 Why did I revive my blog just to leave it un-updated for 6 months? I mean, January? That's the last time I updated? Really?? 

Anyway. 

Cross-posted from my social media platforms, but: I'm trying to write about the trouble I'm having toggling my dosage of Sertraline: half of me doesn't want to talk about it "publicly", and the other half of me wants to help others & let them know they're not alone. So I'm half-assing it by mentioning it casually. 
ha!! 

5 years

After all these years, I still think EVERY DAY about what a luxury it is to walk around my own home in bare feet and feel the wooden floor beneath me. It's not something I ever thought I'd miss while I was in the hospital, but months of not being able to walk anywhere without hard slippers on is an odd, cold, constant reminder of the odd, cold, sterile and uncomfortable environment you're imprisoned in while you're an in-patient--one that I had never previously anticipated. There's a Björk song called 5 Years. In it, she sings the lyrics "You think you're denying me of something....You're the one who's missing out But you won't notice, til after five years, if you'll live that long. You'll wake up all loveless." Why yes Björk, I did indeed live that long (and will hopefully live many years--nay, decades--longer!), but I haven't woken up all loveless. More like...all cancerless! HA! Take that, leukemia. "You think you're denying me of something." Can I sing those words to cancer? hahaha...

According to Facebook Memories, on this day 5 years ago I was being quarantined in isolation at the hospital because I had woken up with the sniffles. I was also happy because I wasn't nauseous that day. (Chemo is such a bitch!)
Forward 5 years later to today, I woke up coughing and achey. My throat is sore and my head hurts. But I'm sick in the coziness of my own home so I'm happy. :)
I'm EXTRA happy that it's been 5 years! 5 years post-transplant is considered full remission. That will be in August. I'm excited!

I celebrated my 4-year anniversary last year by going to Greece. What should I do this year, now that I'll be gaining the official remission title?
I have a lot in mind, but the one thing I want to do more than anything is return to Japan. The main obstacle in my way is lack of funds (as usual), so we'll see.... I need to make this happen though. My plan is to look for a 2nd job...or more likely, to do some freelancing on the side. :)