All about rage

 ....yeah, I'm not good at coming up with snappy titles for my blog entries. :P 

Anyway, this post is about rage and why and how different people express it, and what their reasons are.
I was just writing about this on Facebook, making multiple posts about it as there was just too much to say, and finally I gave up and decided to just make one centralized big blog post about it, because hey, that's exactly what blogs are for. 

I've been trying to express my feelings on this matter a lot over the years, as I constantly have people saying to me "oh, no one will listen to you if you express things to angrily"; "tone it down"; and "if you get mad nicely, people might listen." 
I'm tired of being subjected to these comments that do have some truth to them, but don't apply to my situation, as I don't rant to inform or educate people, or even to get anyone to change their minds. 

I rant to get things off my chest and feel better. I rant to -- quite literally -- vent. 

I don't expect to change anyone's minds. If I wanted to, I'd definitely take a different approach to doing so. I wouldn't rage at them. No, that's just something I do for my own sanity. It's emotion. It needs to come out somehow. The same can be said of sadness and anxiety. 

Would you say "oh, you'll never get anyone to understand if you say things so sadly" if someone's crying too hard because they're sad? 

Or "oh, you'll never get anyone to understand if you say things so strangely/excitedly" if someone's freaking out because they're anxious? 

No, because that would be absurd. You know they're just feeling emotion and not necessarily trying to debate or argue or make a point. 

It's just emotion. That's it. 

Anger is the same. When I lose my temper or need to get something off my chest, it's not necessarily because I think I'm "right". It's most certainly not because I want to debate*. It's just an emotion I need to express, something that I can't hold in any longer. 
(*On that note, a lot of people need to stop conflating "I don't want to debate" with "no one is allowed to disagree with me." Come on, folks. This should be socializing 101!)

Like, for example, imagine it this way. You're carrying a very full, heavy box. You can't carry it forever! At one point your arms will buckle, and you'll drop the box, spilling the contents whether it's "appropriate" or not. You can't make the contents spill out "nicely" or in the "right way"; they're just going spill out as they will. You're physically incapable of holding them in any longer. 

All that being said, of course--there are toooons of people who use anger as a way to attempt to inform/educate others, and this is something I really try to distance myself from. I know when I get yelled at constantly, I eventually mute or unfollow.

If you truly want to change people's minds (and if you're being honest with yourself here, and that's what you REALLY want to do, as opposed to just wanting to vent like I do), you also need to remember that--wildly hot take here, but--people don't like being yelled at!

I know, I know. Neither change nor progress are made through being nice. Obviously. You know, when it became really trendy for awhile to say "don't tone police me!" I was really happy because I finally felt validated in my (very vocal) anger about important issues.
But you can't be that way all the time about everything, then act shocked when people (very justifiably) walk away. Everyone's dealing with enough shit as it is. NO ONE needs people screaming at them on top of it all. It's one thing if you're ranting to let off steam, but expecting people to listen to you while you do so is rather tone-deaf, if you asked me. I mean, do you expect people to nod their heads and be like, "Yeah! You know what? You're right! Thanks for yelling at me in a blind rage, you really helped me see the light."

Like, for sure that's going to work sometimes--hell, it's worked on me in the past. Just in general, I think, the reality is that people are going to pay attention if you make a fuss. 
But, that only goes so far. Not everyone is going to be persuaded by you if pure fury is the road you take, and you have to learn to be OK with that. What's really important, I think, is to not dismiss these unfollowers as lazy, disinterested, or bad. And I see a lot of this. It's just completely unreasonable. How can you blame people for wanting to walk away from you when you're constantly being unpleasant? It's one thing if you don't care what they think, but so many of you do. You get so mad when people choose to distant themselves from just constant negativity, and it's totally absurd and flat-out irrational of you to do so. 

People aren't "apathetic" just because they don't want to listen to you rage and insult them.