Waxing poetic, Zopiclone edition

This post will have such a different tone than my last one! In my last post, I had just returned from Miami with Mike, and Christmas vacation was just beginning! But now it's long since finished, and I'm back at work (as much as I can be; I'm starting to get called in often, but perhaps not as often as I would like) and my lovely husband is back on tour and I miss him so much, it's awful. The loneliness is crippling. I found it so much harder to part ways this time around for a number of reasons. Well, on the bright side, at least I'll be seeing him again in just under one month's time, in Calgary. Maybe not the most exotic of places (haha!), but still, it's a place I've never been to. I've never been to Alberta, period! And this is part of my own country this time. Good ole Canada. It'll do me some good to see more of it. In the meantime: working whenever I can! I just wish it were more steady work...

Well, I love my life overall and I'd say that generally I'm certainly a happy person. I'm just going through a time in my life that's quite rough. I know it'll pass but the interim is just so miserable. Being so lonely while I'm so anxious about every little cold or flu symptom I get (as one might imagine, at this time of year, can be quite common), just makes the anxiety inflate about tenfold. And with the ballooning anxiety stems the incapacity to think properly, which is only feuled further by "chemo brain", something a lot of people don't understand. The combined result is just such a toxic mixture of the most frustrating melancholy, something I could maybe attempt to begin putting into words, but only when sleeping pills haven't already been scrambling my brain to such an intense degree.

Miami, my ami, et mes amis

I went to Miami and it was simply wonderful! What an amazing city. It stole my heart, as they say. I'm not even normally too much of a beach & ocean kinda person, but C'MON. This place is beautiful. And the fact I got to escape the cold harsh winter of Montreal to go? Simply amazing. In fact, there was a blizzard the very day I left Montreal! It was so wonderful being on the beach (we stayed in South Beach) every day, walking through the sand, by the palm trees, hitting the outdoor clubs...

Going back to Montreal was tough, but on the bright side, Mike (my husband) was coming with me, as he's home for the Christmas holidays. :) So, that's pretty awesome, to put it mildly. Christmas break 'officially' started (as in, schools are closed) the day before yesterday (Friday) and last night, Mike and I rented out a hotel room with some friends to celebrate those who donated funds to the Light the Night foundation, for Leukemia and Lymphoma research. It was so much fun! I have nothing but unmeasurable amounts of love and respect for my friends for donating their bucks to cancer research and towards hopefully one day finding a cure; the LEAST I could do in return is throw them some kind of party. I am blessed to be surrounded by such incredible and caring people!

Triggers are weird, unpredictable, nasty little things.

Holiday travel

Christmas time! One of my favourite times of the year. I gotta change my layout to something Christmas-related. But I update my blog so unfrequently, it'll probably end up getting stuck with that layout til like mid-January. :P But then again...does that matter? hahaha.

Sometimes I have super clear random memories of being in the hospital and I'm just so GLAD to not be in there that I'm just so chill with whatever happens in my life otherwise; like, I don't care about anything that happens pretty much as long as I don't have to be in the hospital again. But sometimes that's kind of a vicious circle, and counter-productively (for lack of a better word) causes anxiety, as I'll think about how happy I am to be where I am, and I don't want anything to stop that happiness and take it away from me, so I'll get anxious about getting sick again and having to return to the hospital, thus having that comfort taken away. Vicious circle bullshit! lol

I'm leaving for Miami on Wednesday to meet up with my husband. I'm staying there for a week and then we're coming back together. He's going to stay here in Montreal for the Christmas holidays, so he'll be here for Christmas and New Year's, which is beyond wonderful! He goes back to the US on January 2nd though, so it'll pass by much too fast, I'm afraid. Next time I see him after that is in mid-February, when I'll be visiting him in Calgary.

Marc-André Skelling

Things seem to be going well for Mai Duong (happily!), but unfortunately not so much for Marc-André Skelling. He has a month left to find a compatible donor or else HE'LL DIE. He's only 23 years old! This is ridiculous! If you're a reader of this blog and/or a friend of mine and you have yet to donate blood and/or get swabbed, DO IT. At the verrryyy least, spread the word?!

USA travels

Since I last wrote here I went to Cleveland, which is a really nice city. I want to go back. If I get to move to Toronto next year, I'll be closer. Mostly I just want to go to Chicago though, where my husband is now; I've been there twice, but a looong time ago. How long ago? Once where I was 4 and again when I was 8. So the last time was 25 years ago! Ha! I remember it quite well though. I enjoyed it a lot. Still, it would obviously be quite different as an adult. ;) And I'm sure Chicago has changed a lot in the past 2 1/2 decades.

On the way back from Cleveland I had a 3-hour stop in Detroit. So I hung out in one of the airport bars (that airport is HUGE, man!) and just listened to people talk. I love Americans and I love their accents, omg. I love their culture and pretty much everything about the USA. I wish I could live there but it's just not that simple nor easy (my husband & I have looked into it before). We haven't given up on that dream yet though!

For now, plenty of travelling to the USA, at least. So there was NYC and Cleveland in October, and coming up next in December in Miami. Never been there (the only place I've been to in Florida is Orlando for Disneyworld), so it's exciting! 

I have (yet another) cold, and had to cancel my weekend plans, so I ordered in Chinese food. Which I guess is good food for a cold! SPICY. *__* I gotta go get my flu shot...

LOTS of travel! :)

Ahh! I haven't updated in a month in a half.

Well, it's been a busy month and a half. I got to go to one of my absolute favourite places in the world--New York City!! I used to go there twice a year back in the day, but I haven't been since May 2011, so it was about time I had returned. Also, for all the times I've been to New York, this was the first time I had gone in October. I've been there in the winter, for Labour Day weekend, and a ton of times during the summer, but never at this time of year. What a perfect time to go. The reason I went was to go see Morning Musume in concert. Morning Musume is a jpop group I've been listening to since I was 17 years old! That's 16 years of being fan (though to be really honest I've been an on & off kind of fan, haha). But omg. To see them in concert was the most amazing thing ever. I went with my best friend who's as obsessed with Morning Musume as I am and I could not have asked for better company. It was just the best time. And we took advantage of being in Manhattan and hung out in Times Square and SoHo, it was GREAT! We also went to Tom's Restaurant, the SEINFELD diner, and as big Seinfeld fans as we both are, for some reason neither of us had ever gone. So it was wonderful finally getting to cross that off our wish list. :)

Speaking of travelling, I also went to Nova Scotia in September to visit my husband. I've always wanted to go to the Maritimes, so that was wonderful! I got to visit Halifax while I was there, which was really cool. It's a nice little city. Nova Scotia overall is very beautiful. Very different from Quebec, so it was a great experience. There's so much more of Nova Scotia I'd like to see, to say nothing of the rest of the Maritimes!

My husband continues with his tour, travelling from city to city in both Canada and the USA. In a week I'm off to Cleveland to visit him. I'm very grateful that I'm able to do all this travelling and that I can see him so often. <3