After feeling really really down for a few days, I've been feeling a lot better. I wanted to find at least one person who survived a relapse, and I did, and I also found people who were alive after never even going into remission, so I feel a bit better now. I mean, I don't feel good that they never went into remission, of course (well obviously), but if they could survive that while I DID go into remission, that's kind of motivating. (I'm talking about random people on internet cancer groups, btw.)
There are days where I read about people who have it sooo much worse than me and I feel awful complaining at all. And then there are days where I just look at everyone around me who's fine, and I feel terrible and depressed and wonder why I had to get leukemia. Anyway, I've been feeling a lot better these past few days, so I'm very happy and relieved about that. My husband reserved a hotel in the Gaspé for us and we're going there at the end of August (I shouldn't still be neutropenic by then). I'm so excited, as it's my first trip since all this shit has gone down. I've barely left this corner of my neighbourhood--hell, my apartment, even, never mind going out of town! Plus, this will be my first time all the way out to the Gaspé! I've always wanted to go out there, and everyone tells me it's amazing, so I'm very excited indeed. ^_^
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