OK//not OK

Nah, forget what I said last post. Everything's definitely not OK. I'm not OK.
Well, the last post is still true. It's certainly easier dealing with cancer here than in Montreal, or at least it has been so far. But I'm not feeling great all the time. There's the bad days too.

I'm OK, I'm not OK, I'm OK, I'm not OK; it switches all the time.

I keep reading articles about cancer survivors. Apparently all my feelings are totally normal. I guess that's a good thing. There's people out there who understand.

I'm so angry and on-edge these days. I think one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me through this whole thing was once, awhile back, when I said I was angry all the time--one friend responded by saying "Oh, all that anger isn't very good for you." Not "oh I'm sorry you're feeling angry" or "I'm sure having cancer must make you feel angry". No, none of that; just a condescending "anger isn't good for you!", as if a) I wasn't already QUITE aware, and b) it were my choice and I could just switch it off. Like ohh, why didn't you tell me anger was bad? Guess I'll just stop being angry about cancer. Haha silly me. Anyway, it was so patronizing & unhelpful. I'll remember that comment forever. It's enraging.

Yeah, I really hate February. I think.