So yay, anxiety!

Pretty anxious these days...it's especially bad at night, but today I've been anxious all day. My doctors gave me meds for that, but I mean.....yeah. It is what it is. 

I need to do a FIFTH bone marrow test on  Tuesday (long story); the good news is my oncologist thinks I may be in remission after all (an even longer & much more complicated story), and it's more being in limbo in the meantime. Things look good but we don't know for sure. And either way I still need more chemo, we just don't know yet how much and what type, and I still have to wait on the transplant...alllll so stressful. So yay, anxiety! 

I'm enjoying my nightly routine of watching The Simpsons and/or Seinfeld and/or The Office in bed while I chill online, waiting for my sleeping pills to kick in. But lately the anxiety I've been dealing with is starting to creep into my nightly "wind-down" time and the sleeping problems are getting worse. Argh. 

The cabin fever is also getting really bad and contributing to me feeling really down. I miss my ordinary life. I miss going to work and running errands and going shopping.
Tonight was Saturday and I REALLY missed my usual Saturday routine of socializing and going to my fave karaoke place, moreso than usual. 

And also, I miss my mom and I also think about my dead roommate every day. 

All right, enough venting for now. I hope my next entry is a more upbeat one! ;)