Gossip (as in: the topic, not as in: I have any)

I know this topic has nothing to do with cancer or transplants, but this *is* still my blog, and I write about other things in here too, ya know! lol

Anyway, just something that's been on my mind lately. Gossip. Bad-mouthing people.

To be clear right off the bat--I'm not talking about having a wine & bitch session (or coffee/tea/whatever have you & bitch) session with your bff. That's totally different from badmouthing & gossiping about everyone you know as a regular hobby for about a hundred different reasons I'm not going to get into right now. But I just wanted to get that distinction out of the way.

But yeah. Badmouthing others.

It took me til my late 30s to truly understand the whole concept of "if people badmouth other people when they're around you, they do the same thing about you around other people." That "foolish" voice they give their friends in their stories when they recite them to me? That's the same "foolish" voice they give ME when they recount stories about me when they're with those friends.

It's such a harsh lesson to learn, and I don't know why it took me so long to learn. Maybe some level of conceit? Like, "oh, I'm the special COOL friend they all come to to vent?" HAHAHA DAAAMN at that completely unearned level of self-importance, dear late-20s-era me! Ugh. Embarrassing.

I used to have people in my outer friends' circle who I would badmouth a lot because I really felt our attitudes clashed and I didn't care about staying friends with them. I was too much of a coward to cut them out of my life, but once I realized what a shitty human I was being, I finally unfriended them all on Facebook--not just because I felt like our friendship would lead nowhere, but also because I felt like I didn't deserve their friendship if I talked about them like that.

And...yeah. I'm not sure what else to say about this. I don't have any witty closing to this or anything. I'm not good at writing blogs. I just write what's in my mind (or on it!), and when I'm done, the post is done. Til next time!