Needing some alone time

After having a constant revolving door of (super incredibly lovely) people constantly here, I had a day to myself yesterday. I can't find the words to explain how tired I got from having no alone time for so long. It's tough. Even if the people are awesome, it's draining, both physically and emotionally. I did my best and tried to balance out the constant company by making to sure to always give each other space, watch shows together and be on my phone a lot...but truth be told, that's pretty much all I had energy for anyway! Oh, I'm so very grateful for everyone who came and stayed with me, whether it was for a week (or more!), or just a few hours. So very, very grateful for all my amazing, terrific caregivers indeed, and that is an understatement. But I'm also grateful for alone time. It's just something the body and mind need, right?

I get tired so quickly still. Again, I feel it so hard so both physically and emotionally, but yesterday with all my alone time, I felt intensely physically exhausted in particular. I fried eggs (you know, something a 10-year-old could do), washed the dishes, and wrote one single Christmas card. I also organized some stuff in my purse for an appointment I had today. Well, wouldn't you know it felt like I had run a marathon. I mean, I guess I gotta count all the hand washings in between all those things. Like a hundred times a day. I'm so tired of washing my hands. Oh, and the taking of so many pills. And applying so many creams. Etc, etc. I know it doesn't sound like much, but when you add it all up, all these many, many little things, on top of everything else, when you're already so exhausted...it's a lot. It really gets to you after awhile.

Today I had my OBGYN appointment. She's a specialist for folks who've had bone marrow transplants, so I feel really safe with her. Anyway, so far so good on that front, so that was a very nice reassurance. Tonight I'll have the apartment to myself again so we'll see how that goes. I'm hoping to have enough energy to do some gaming. Breath of the Wild (one of the best things to happen to me in a long time--that's right, I typed one of the best THINGS to happen to me in awhile, not even "one of the best games") is pretty high on my list of ways I hope to spend my time tonight.