Getting used to missing out on summer

I've been so out of breath today. My counts are at zero (it sure took long enough!) so from here on there's nowhere to go but up, but I'm sure I'll be neutropenic for awhile; apparently you're neutropenic for longer and longer each time you get chemo, and that certainly seems to have been the case thus far. I can't believe it took this long to get to zero! It's going to take forever for them to come back up again, certainly. Especially considering how I was neutropenic last time I got chemo. Man...so house arrest continues, as usual, but it hasn't been all THAT bad; I'm getting used to missing out on every social event there is, and to not seeing anybody, and missing the whole fucking summer. Anyway, I've been watching tons of anime, playing lots of video games, and reading lots of novels, so it's not like I haven't been staying entertained. Today I've been feeling just awful though (physically). Really out of breath, like I mentioned, and dizzy, and seeing stars..so far I've gotten three transfusions this week. My doctor changed my appointments so that instead of going to the day clinic at the hospital twice a week for blood tests (and transfusions if I need them), I now go three times a week, so that they can keep a closer eye on my bloods. It's annoying having to go back & forth so much, but it also feels safer, as I'm under closer watch (which is the point). I've been kind of on edge lately, as the day after tomorrow it'll be five months since I got diagnosed. Why this bothers me is because I'm terrified of relapse; AML has a high relapse rate (this is where those dreadful percentages come in to play) and I somehow gotta make it to three years without a relapse to be considered 'in the clear' (and even then....). A friend of mine on Facebook posted a mind-blowing comic from the wonderful XKCD about this very subject when I was worrying about it on Facebook, and it made me feel sooo much better and less alone. Here's the comic: