When I was hospitalized with leukemia the first time, and things were looking really really really bad, and I was wondering if I would even make it through that summer, I didn’t have any real regrets about anything in my life because in general, if I want to do something, I just do it. I thought to myself “what will I do differently if I survive this?” And then thought “nothing really, because I’m happy with my life the way it is. I just wish I could travel more.” (Yeahhh there was that whole thing about prioritizing alone time, but I'm talking about BIG GOALS here.)
Except travelling is not something you can just ...go do. It takes time to save up enough money to be able to afford to travel. Especially because of the UTTERLY INSANE DEBT I incurred due to being in the hospital for most of 2013—that took years to pay off. So yeah, no traveling for awhile. But all these years later I finally paid off my debts and I was finally ready to travel (for vacation) again. And not just anywhere, but to Dubai. Dubai! A trip that took years and YEARS of planning.
Mike and I first discussed going 10 years ago. 5 years ago, one of my oldest & dearest friends moved there, but we still couldn’t just pick up and go visit her because we couldn’t afford it. Fiiiiiinally, at the end of 2018, 10 years of hard work had paid off, and I had paid off all my debts so that I was ready to go, and tickets were bought...and then this shit happens.
No Dubai. No travelling anywhere. Just sitting in the damn hospital.
Thankfully I’ve taken some small trips during remission, when I’ve visited Mike while he was on tour (but I didn’t have to pay for most of that, thankfully—otherwise I never would have been able to have gone). He was working for most of those trips, of course--but! We got in a trip to Miami together, and that was honestly one of the best trips I've ever taken in my life.
Travelling is expensive. Travelling requires money. Travel is the only thing that I feel is missing from my life right now. (Uhh...other than the current situation of my fucked-up bone marrow needing to be repaired asap, of course!)
Anyway, I dunno. If you’ve made it this far—if you’ve read all this and still firmly believe “money doesn’t buy happiness!”, then I give up. I also don’t think you really know what it’s like to really, really want something—or to be without money for so long.
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