Monday 22 June 2020

The O & C

I feel like clawing my way out of my own brain.

I've just spent an hour sitting with my eyes closed "checking" all my thoughts. (Not that that's anything out of the ordinary.)
After that, in an unrelated event: going to the bathroom to pee took 5 hand washings. (Totally not something out of the ordinary, either.)

Having both the obsession & compulsion components of OCD is not something I thought I'd ever had to deal with. I always only used to have the obsessions. Well, I guess the compulsions part too, though my compulsions were always internal (checking my thoughts, as opposed to external physical things). Now I got the hand-washing and all that external physical crap that I do...so yeah, full-fledged obsessions AND compulsions. The worst of both worlds.

I really wish I could shut my brain off.
-

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

ICYMI: mask bullies = human garbage :)

Masks & distancing are INCREDIBLY helpful--life-saving, even. That's not opinion--that's just fact. I don't understand how t...

  • I hate my IV machine
    I have a headache from not sleeping well, as usual. I often sleep 8-9 hours a night, but it's not good sleep. Either I have nightmares (...
  • Wheeeeeeeeelchair! :P
    I got a new mouth ulcer last week and FUCK does it hurt. Today the pain was just unbearable but as I'm neutropenic, the nurses can't...
  • 5 years
    After all these years, I still think EVERY DAY about what a luxury it is to walk around my own home in bare feet and feel the wooden floor b...